I want Peace. Serenity.

I want peace. Serenity. I want to shake those stress and blues away. But how?! I’m not saying I have a bunch of pessimistic bubbles floating in my mind... its just I am trying to forget about all the negativities in my mind... but how?! The question still lingers in my mind... shit! I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to think about negative things happening in my mind. I am trying to move on and think of happy thoughts and close my eyes like peter pan said to Wendy when he wants her to be happy and be on never land and forget all her worries... but every time I think of happy thoughts it didn’t last that long. It just last for a minute and then it vanish... it fades away like the wind that just touch your skins and never leaves a mark on it... I am trying to close my eyes and trying to savor the serenity that my hearts desires, but it never happens. It never reaches the tranquility that I am looking for... I couldn't sleep. I couldn't breath. Its just I couldn't. I am torn between being a pessimistic and being an optimistic... I don’t want to stay forever and be caught in the middle... its too hard for me... I don't want to give up. I don't want to be a looser in this game that my own mind starts to play. I should be a fighter and conquer all of my anxieties, but how? While my armor and shields are too weak to defeat the battle that I am into... I want somebody to help me, somebody to be my wingman... But not just my wingman that will help me to defeat the battle... but a partner who will help me to surpass this trouble. Will it be you? Will it be you who will tell me to think of happy thoughts and tell me to close my eyes as we float around and forget all the worries that I have in mind? Will it be you who will give me an eternal serenity that my heart and mind desires...? Please tell me, will it be you. Don’t leave. Don’t go. Be my eternity. Be my eternal happiness.